Things that make you go...HUMMMM....

As most of you know we had an unfortunate hiccup in the adoption process last fall that eventually moved our plans to adopt from the hot plate, to the back burner to entirely off the stove. Both of us had a really hard time dealing with the sudden loss of our plans. Even L had a very difficult reaction, which absolutely broke my heart. However, difficult it was, we moved on, got through the holidays and settled in for a long winter of weekend trips to VT.

For Valentines Day my husband decided to take me out for fondue since I LOVE fondue. We decided to go the Saturday after 2/14 b/c we hate feeling rushed on Valentines Day and it is hard to get a sitter. So that Saturday we drove into Boston for a movie and dinner. We went to a new movie theater near downtown crossing and were lucky to get street parking a block or so away kind of near the Theater District. As is always the case, when you actually DO find street parking, you DON’T have quarters. So we jogged around the corner to find a store to get change and low and behold we found ourselves smack in the middle of Chinatown. To tell you the truth, I couldn’t get to Chinatown in Boston to save my life- NYC is a different story. Boston’s Chinatown as always been this elusive area for me. Anyway, I got an immediate knot in my stomach when I saw the McDonalds with Chinese lanterns over its doors. We ducked into the first store we could find and as we flung open the door and jumped inside, we were confronted with a sea of Chinese wares. Everything went instantly blurry except a display of tiny brocade Chinese shoes. I remember SJ asking for change as I walked over to this wall of shoes and could not believe how many colors and sizes there were. SJ got the change and we left quickly so not to miss our movie.

We ran up the street through fierce cold wind to our theater. We had a lovely time at the movies and at dinner but I realized that day that I had not resolved my feelings about this adoption but had in fact just swept them under the rug. I, in particular, have been struggling ever since with the feeling that something has been taken from me. Do you ever wonder about fate? I do. I am a big believer in some sort of grand plan and that life guides you. I feel like it was fate that we found that parking spot, to have needed quarters and ducked into that store. I probably could have gone on for a while pretending that everything was okay. I am once again feeling frustrated and heartbroken but I think it is better to acknowledge these feelings and actually deal with them than to just tidy them up in a box on a shelf. So part of my dealing with them is writing on this blog- not sure why, but I am.

China's Good Things...

Most of what I have read about China thus far is bleak, probably because I am focusing on issues surrounding adoption and the abandonment of little girls. I don’t want to feel that way about China; so, I am determined to find some of the heartwarming traditions and customs of the Chinese people. One I have found that is truly lovely is a tradition in Northern China of making a quilt of 100 Good Wishes for a new baby. The way it works is, 100 people send an expecting mother, 2 swatches of the same fabric along with a note of good wishes for the baby. The mother uses one swatch in a quilt for the baby and puts the other swatch in a scrapbook next to the note. The scrapbook serves as a reference of who sent each piece of fabric and the good wish associated with it.


My great-grandmother made the quilt in the picture for me. It hangs on the wall in my room at my family’s house in Vermont. Growing up I would stare at it from my bed, tracing the pattern in every possible way. I have just come to learn that this pattern is called A Trip Around the World. This pattern is defined by a series of concentric squares.

I am going to try to make a 100 Good Wishes quilt to welcome this new child. Of course I would love for all my friends and family to participate. I am going to try to incorporate some of the pattern my great-grandmother used for my quilt. When I get closer to starting the project, I will post information on what size and kind of fabric I will need. (Thankfully, I will have a good long time to work on it since I have never made a quilt!)

One, Two...Oh Let's Make it Three!

It was never a secret that we wanted three kids, until we had 2 in 15 months. For some people that is not a challenge- for me- the planner, the detail person, the organized one- that was definitely something hard to wrap my tightly wound brain around. Luckily for me, we got well behaved babies (as toddlers they have their moments) and I started to see the incredible advantage to having two in two years. We have built-in playmates 24 hours a day, they like the same things and the same people, and frankly, I'll be done with diapers sooner than I planned!

Until about mid-summer if asked, I was definitely set on two kids. I wasn't sure why, but that was always the answer that popped out of my mouth. So many of my friends had real reasons why they were done- they felt fulfilled with two or they were just thrilled to have one of each and wanted nothing more. Although I touted that I was "done" I did not have any of these concrete reasons why.

Over the past month SJ and I have have come to the conclusion that although we feel we have everything we have ever wanted in our two kids, we would like a third to complete the picture. The strange thing is that we have NO desire to see a third version of our gene-pool cocktail. (Not to mention, I am not thrilled at the prospect of a pregnancy in a three story house) So I am very excited to tell you that we have decided to adopt a little girl from China. We would love another daughter and we have talked for many years about the desire to bring a child-in-need into our family. It is now falling into place. The only way we can seem to describe it, is that it just feels right.

I am sure that most of you are aware of the plight of baby girls in China. It is a sad sad story that did not begin with the one child policy in the 1980's but in fact began with the writings of Confucius thousands of years ago. It is a long and complicated story of a patriarchal society mired down by tradition, an unmanageably large population, and a desire to break through into the world marketplace.

Over the next few weeks and months I will post information on China, the adoption process, and links I think you all might like to see. The adoption will be roughly a 12 month process. We will probably be placed with a little girl around the age of 1 and since we would like B to be about 4 when we travel to China we will start this process in February or March of 2006. More later... SP