Thursday, September 11, 2008

Finally a quiet moment today.

This was the first year I was unable to sit and watch the reading of the names. My kids and my PTO life are keeping me busy. I was running all day and Thursdays happen to be particularly busy for me. It is 6:00 pm and I just sat down for the first time and put on the news. On the one hand I felt some relief not have spent the day sobbing as I usually do but I also feel I have not given this day the kind of tender embrace I normally do. If they lined up all the families who lost someone that day I would gladly take the time to give each person a hug. I am lucky that I did not lose a loved one but didn't we all lose something that day? If you are reading this, I am sorry for your loss - whatever it may have been. I will never forget.

more random thoughts after dinner...
I was 7 months pregnant with my first baby. 5 days earlier a nurse slipped at my doctor's appointment and told me I was having a girl. I remember that day so vividly because I was so mad someone told me. Now I think back and realize that day was one of the last few days before the world changed. The morning of 9/11 I was awakened by my best friend calling to say a plane had hit one of the towers. I then saw the second one hit live. I clutched at my huge belly wondering what kind of world I was bringing my baby girl into. I marveled at how much evil could come out of such a beautiful sky. Today I looked up and saw that same sky. Many people commented on it. We all felt the irony in our guts. But today, 7 years later I have the most beautiful daughter. She has sprouted long legs, beautiful thick hair, round deep brown eyes, a sweet sweet smile and a genuine love for life. Just as I hugged my belly 7 years ago, today I am hugging my big baby girl and her younger brother. Rules are out the window tonight. Pizza picnic dinner on the living room floor and a later bed time so we can snuggle in bed reading stories. Keep the most important things in life close and just when you think they are close, scooch them in even closer. Unfortunately, daddy is on a plane tonight which makes me uneasy but we'll get through. Thank goodness for my children and the fact that they don't have the weight of this day on their shoulders.

1 comment:

Chatty said...

S, I thought the same same thing about the sky this morning. This was also the first September 11th I've spent without watching the coverage- instead I spent the morning with the kiddos watching the Disney Channel and feeling my Baby Boy kicking up a storm.

I don't think any of us who experienced the attack, in whatever way we experienced it, will ever be able to forget anything about that day- especially the way we felt.