Thursday, October 06, 2011

The secret's out...

By January 2007 we knew something was amiss with the speed and ease of China adoptions. People with July 2005 log-in dates (LID) waited a WHOLE year for their child match and 6 months later things looked worse, not better.

But the time the first anniversary of our LID rolled around, people in the IA hood were talking two years for a child match from China. Some lunatics in the community were even whispering, three. I was beside myself. I am NOT going to wait three years! That's absurd!

This week marks the 6th anniversary of this fateful post. Yes, six years ago we decided we were ready for a third child but the universe had other plans. Over the course of the wait, through all the ups and downs, I looked for signs. Were we on the right path? Was this meant to be? Every time we got Chinese food I'd rip open my fortune cookie hoping for some sort of message that indicated we were meant to get this child from China. I even formed a secret group with friends. No, not like a oh don't tell anyone secret group. A group that met to discuss the theories behind The Secret - a practice, that Oprah had been touting was how she got everything she wanted. And let's face it, that woman certainly got everything she's ever wanted. Some people in our group wanted happier marriages, some wanted better jobs, some wanted a different house, and I wanted my baby.

The basics of practicing the secret is to tell the universe exactly what you want and the universe will give it to you. The when and the how is not really up to you so being patient and grateful are key elements to practicing the secret. There are lots of different ways to communicate with the universe but they all involve the power of thought and intention. Many followers of this theory use what they call visual boards to help bring the specifics of their desires to their thought each day. Some of us in our secret little group little secret group decided to make visual boards for ourselves, myself included. I bought cork boards and hung them in our bedroom and tacked up all that I wanted the universe to hear. After about a year, I decided that the boards did not help the already ailing design state of our master bedroom and moved my visual board online. I have another website, mostly private for friends and family, where I post pictures and home video for those living afar. On this site, I made pages for each member of our family with up-to-date information about new developments in their lives. On my page, I wrote down a list of 5 things I wanted to do before I turned 40. I will be 39 (holy crap she told us her age!) in November and as of last spring I had been able to cross four of the five items off! I am sure you can all guess that now, finally, I can cross off that very last thing I wanted to do before I turned 40!

On this site, I also made a page for Cici. I included all the information about our timeline, the process we had to endure to adopt from China, and then I put up my own little digital visual board just for the universe. I included some guesses about her birth date, the province she'd be from in China, and after lengthy searching through a gazillion images on the internet, I included a picture. I went through countless photographs of little asian girls and downloaded the one that spoke to me the most. That picture has been up on my website since the summer of 2008. I was so drawn to her big eyes. I wanted her to be mine.

When we got Cici in China, there was something about her that was so familiar to me. I couldn't place it. She looked so different from all the other babies in our match group and she quite frankly, looks very different to me than any other Chinese baby I've seen through all my years of following China adoptions. And then it dawned on me, I thought for a moment that she looked like the baby I put up on my digital visual board. So I pulled up the website in our room at China hotel and I was awestruck.

Over the years, I changed the dates but never the location nor the picture.














Over the years, I've had what I call little secrety things happen. But this one has made me a believer.

And finally, as I mentioned in this post, on her first birthday I served everyone chocolate dipped fortune cookies. Being the busy cook and hostess, I didn't have a chance to eat mine that night. And being the food-aholic that I am, I love chocolate for breakfast so I ate mine the next morning. After the big kids went to school, and the tigress went down for her nap, in the quiet of my kitchen, I opened this.....


3 comments:

Charity, Gary, Katie and Louie said...

Shan,
This is amazing! We questioned the wait so many times over the years, but now everyone in our little adoption group knows why we had to wait so long. I'm sure we are all very grateful that we did. Much love to you all! I'm so happy that CiCi is yours xoxo

Glinda said...

Shut UP...I cannot believe how much we think alike. I listen to THE Secret every day on my way to work...and have been doing so since 2008; it has helped me keep my focus on the positive.

Uncanny the pictures...I do the same thing in my mind imagining features, willing my referral ever closer.

SylWill said...

Shannon! This is amazing. I'm a firm believer in the Secret/and anything else LoA related, and love that you drew little Cici into your/the family's life. So inspiring, and a great example showing you really can have your heart's desire...(walks off to add a couple more things to vision board)

-Sylvia from Simon's team