How did this happen?

Today marks the three year anniversary of filing the paperwork for our adoption from China. It was however almost 4 years ago that we decided to bring our third child into our family through international adoption instead of pregnancy. It wasn't a difficult decision at the time but I look back at all that has happened since and know we would not have made the same choice had we to do it all again. I now have a 7.5 year old, a 6 year old and a referral no where in sight. We are taking a good hard look at the reality of our family now and will be trying to figure out if we are meant to stay the course after waiting for so many years. It is a heartbreaking process with lots of tears, anxiety, frustration and anger. The one thing I know for certain is that I love my family and will try to do right by them.